There is nothing like game day, sitting in class, watching the seconds tick away from the clock. Waiting for time to fly by. Then finally, it is time. School is over and there is a rush of kids who fill the hallways, but you’re only thinking about one thing: It’s game time. It is a cool spring day. The birds are chirping in the background. Walking out to the field is a feeling that you couldn’t even imagine. Seeing the freshly cut grass. The smooth brown dirt in the infield, the bases painted a spotless white. Nothing is like the game of baseball.
In this paragraph I show sensory detail a lot. For example I talk about how as an athlete you just sit in class waiting and waiting for school to finally end. I said “watching the seconds tick away” as in meaning it seems like it takes forever. Also I described how the weather usually is outside during a baseball game, and I described the field. I used sensory detail to really put the reader into my situation. If the reader is an athlete, I tried to make that feeling come back of waiting and waiting for the game to finally happen. If the reader goes to baseball games or is a baseball player I really put them in a place of seeing a baseball field right before a game. The grass is freshly cut and the bases are painted a spotless white. I try and make the reader see the field and feel like they are waiting for their game to come along instead of just telling them about it.
Very solid blog Elias. I almost felt like I was an athlete who wanted game day after reading this. You did a good job of describing the visual aspects of the field, and it you definitely showed more than just told on that one. Also, the short sentences at the beginning gave this blog a feeling of anticipation, making me feel like something big was going to happen. Another thing was how you wrote the blog from a student’s point of view, about waiting for class to end and all the kids running through the hallways, it’s very relatable. The only thing I would say this well-written blog could use is trying to describe that “feeling you couldn’t imagine”. I feel like that would have made this blog even better and would have given the reader more of what it feels like to be a star athlete on game day getting ready to play baseball.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your vivid description of game day. You sensory detail is demonstrated very well through out the whole piece. The way he's able to relate all the description back to the specific game. It's almost as if you try to take me there with your words and get a feeling as if I'm on the field about to play on the renewed baseball field, once again perfected by every white line and base. It makes me think of being a kid again and falling to the thought of being the player out there on the recreational soccer field. It all happens again in my mind as if the lights are on us, were ready to play, get the win with my team.
ReplyDeleteRealistically though, no sport is ever that calm. It's all about the thrill of the game and playing the best you can in order to beat your opponent, right?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBeing an athlete I personally know the feeling of the anticipation of game day. As I read your blog I noticed the sensory detail demonstrated throughout the entire piece, the smooth dirt and spotless white bases gave me a vivid image of what it feels like to be standing on the infield during a varsity baseball game. When I read this I can imagine the game just through the words of your piece, and as an athlete I can relate to the “seconds slowly ticking away.” The feeling of game day is captured by making the reader feel like they can’t wait, just like an athlete can’t wait to take the field on game day.
ReplyDelete